Have a read, have a discussion, have a Kit Kat.
A period of uncertainty,
ambiguity;
not clear.
Choked words and nerves
when that telephone rings.
Desperate attempts
to feel connected,
not rejected.
Subliminal messages sent in the post.
Acts of rebellion
against... something...
But what?
A shot
of Absinthe
and bruised knees follow
a thousand messages,
read but not answered.
Sickness.
Sadness.
Erratic and paranoid;
something to avoid
expressing.
Tormented sleep
and dragging days.
These are the ways
of an unknowing fool.
The brain is an enemy,
it'll turn you against me.
Ironic really.
I just want you
to want me.
It certainly looks as though
you're slowly letting go
and
as true or false as that may be,
it's still out there
and in my head to get me.
***
I'm sorry little seed,
For what I've done to you.
To let you think it would be OK
To break through that rubber force field
And cause a race riot.
It's my fault little seed,
I should have put you straight.
But you see I didn't know
How strong and able you were
To stick around and grow.
It's not fair little seed,
Not for you, him or I.
Maybe in another lifetime
When you don't scare the shit out of me
Will I accept that you are mine.
I'm sorry little seed,
For what I've done to you.
To let them take you away from me,
Always wondering but never knowing
What you might have become.
Bigger than I expected
For a girl you hardly knew.
I could wander across
To any side that I wished,
Do a hop, skip, jump if I fancied.
Sometimes I'd turn to find more;
New paths leading me
To unfamiliar rooms and floors.
An entire household,
Every brick laid by you.
I loved to explore every crevis.
But over just one night
You stripped the foundations;
Whipped away like a cloth from a table.
You left me uncertain,
Unbalanced on a wooden beam,
You left me for dead in the dark.
Now I'm terrified to move,
Stuck in this demolished wreck,
Scared of further damage.
Did I make a wrong turn?
What step too far did I take?
Had I discovered a forbidden wing?
I gave you the blueprints
Of my weird and wonderful world,
There were no boundaries restricting you.
Yet you will let me sit here
Dangling my trembling legs,
Not knowing what lies beneath.
